77 lines
3.2 KiB
Markdown
77 lines
3.2 KiB
Markdown
---
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title: Mental Health
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tags:
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- Drezil
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status: Incomplete
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categories:
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- Mental Health
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- Article
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- Struggles
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date: 2019-01-01
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date-modified: 2025-05-09
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---
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In modern times many people struggle with mental health issues - and a am by no
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means an exception. The main issue is, that most people just don't talk about it
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and suffer alone, thinking they are alone, and everyone else is just doing fine
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in this hellscape of a modern society. At least that is what you see on several
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social media platforms like Instagram etc.
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So even despite my exceptional^[citation needed] successes that can be seen in
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my [work](../About/Work.md) i always struggled with issues even to the point of
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total breakdown. Of course i am also guilty of painting a rosy picture of me -
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just look at [a summary of my experiences](../About/Experience.md) or the
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awesome [things i did at university](../About/Extracurricular.md). If you only
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read that it is hard to believe that i basically had to delay my studies from
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2007 to 2010 because i wasn't even really able to leave the house.
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Only thanks to the not-that-awful system in Germany and massive financial help
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from my parents i was even able to pursue this way.
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## What are my issues?
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Well.. after 15 long years of therapy i finally get a hang of all my issues.
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Many of those are related, some are just the result of coping mechanisms of
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ignoring other issues.
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Currently i am successfully diagnosed with
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- social anxiety
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- ADHD
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- transgenderism
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and i got a big suspician of
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- autism
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All in all: when i feel well, am good rested and have nothing critical coming up
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i am more of what i would call a "high functioning Autist, but not THAT far on
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the spectrum". But it is funny that while finding out who i really am, i met
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more people who basically had the same issue and a similar biography like mine.
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Some of them get the autism-diagnosis first, others the ADHD one - since until
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some time ago those diagnosis were mutually exclusive.
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That's also why many people like me are only really diagnosed as adults, because
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autism hides many effects of ADHD and vice-versa - depending on which one is
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currently dominating. It is basically 2 modes: do everything all at once and
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start everything that grabs your attention - or do a deep dive into a single
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thing. And the exact opposite: The ADHD part being bored by the autism-project,
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the autism-part is completely overwhelmed by the ADHD chaos. Both then leading
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to exhaustion, not being able to do anything .. and basically feeling guilty for
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the things you did not manage to finish.
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Today i finally found myself. I currently have a great partner (with 3 kids) -
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and **all** of them have similar issues. Like i said: I best get along with
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similar people - and also fall in love with those.. and as AuDHD runs in the
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genes all offspring has a good chance of catching it to varies degrees, too.
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I think the most important thing was the ADHD-Diagnosis - as this enabled me to
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get metylphenidate to basically get into a "3-4 hours focused as long as the
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pill works" and total chaos afterwards. This enables me to have productive
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days/times where i can do all the boring-work that my ADHD-Part wants to sit out
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and the autism part is overwhelmed from even starting.
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## The early days
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To be continued ...
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