56 lines
2.4 KiB
Markdown
56 lines
2.4 KiB
Markdown
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---
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title: Mental Health
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---
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In modern times many people struggle with mental health issues - and a am by no
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means an exception. The main issue is, that most people just don't talk about it
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and suffer alone, thinking they are alone, and everyone else is just doing fine
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in this hellscape of a modern society. At least that is what you see on several
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social media platforms like Instagram etc.
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So even despite my exceptional `[citation needed]` successes that can be seen in
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my [[Work|work]]# i always struggled with issues even to the point of total
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breakdown. Of course i am also guilty of painting a rosy picture of me - just
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look at [[Experience|a summary of my experiences]]# or the
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awesome [[Extracurricular|things i did at university]]#. If you only read that it
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is hard to believe that i basically had to delay my studies from 2007 to 2010
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because i wasn't even really able to leave the house.
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Only thanks to the not-that-awful system in Germany and massive financial help
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from my parents i was even able to pursue this way.
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## What are my issues?
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Well.. it is not completely clear, what all my issues are. Many of those are
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related, some are just the result of coping mechanisms of ignoring other issues.
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Currently i am successfully diagnosed with
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- social anxiety
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- ADHD
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- transgenderism
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and suspected of
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- autism (asperger)
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All in all: when i feel well, am good rested and have nothing critical coming up
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i am more of what i would call a "high functioning Autist, but not THAT far on
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the spectrum". But it is funny that finding out who i really am i met more
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people that i thought who basically had the same issue and a similar biography
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then me. Some of them get the autism-diagnosis first, others the ADHD one -
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since until some time ago those diagnosis were mutually exclusive.
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That's also why many people like me are only really diagnosed as adults, because
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autism hides many effects of ADHD and vice-versa - depending on which one is
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currently dominating. It is basically 2 modes: do everything all at once and
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start everything that grabs your attention - or do a deep dive into a single
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thing. And the exact opposite: The ADHD part being bored by the autism-project,
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the autism-part is completely overwhelmed by the ADHD chaos. Both then leading
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to exhaustion, not being able to do anything .. and basically feeling guilty for
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the things you did not manage to finish.
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## The early days
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[[TODO]]
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