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Health/Issues.md

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+---
+title: Mental Health
+tags:
+  - Drezil
+status: Incomplete
+categories:
+  - Mental Health
+  - Article
+  - Struggles
+date: 2019-01-01
+date-modified: 2025-05-09
+---
+
+In modern times many people struggle with mental health issues - and a am by no
+means an exception. The main issue is, that most people just don't talk about it
+and suffer alone, thinking they are alone, and everyone else is just doing fine
+in this hellscape of a modern society. At least that is what you see on several
+social media platforms like Instagram etc.
+
+So even despite my exceptional^[citation needed] successes that can be seen in
+my [work](../About/Work.md) i always struggled with issues even to the point of
+total breakdown. Of course i am also guilty of painting a rosy picture of me -
+just look at [a summary of my experiences](../About/Experience.md) or the
+awesome [things i did at university](../About/Extracurricular.md). If you only
+read that it is hard to believe that i basically had to delay my studies from
+2007 to 2010 because i wasn't even really able to leave the house.
+
+Only thanks to the not-that-awful system in Germany and massive financial help
+from my parents i was even able to pursue this way.
+
+## What are my issues?
+
+Well.. after 15 long years of therapy i finally get a hang of all my issues.
+Many of those are related, some are just the result of coping mechanisms of
+ignoring other issues.
+
+Currently i am successfully diagnosed with
+
+- social anxiety
+- ADHD
+- transgenderism
+
+and i got a big suspician of
+
+- autism
+
+All in all: when i feel well, am good rested and have nothing critical coming up
+i am more of what i would call a "high functioning Autist, but not THAT far on
+the spectrum". But it is funny that while finding out who i really am, i met
+more people who basically had the same issue and a similar biography like mine.
+Some of them get the autism-diagnosis first, others the ADHD one - since until
+some time ago those diagnosis were mutually exclusive.
+
+That's also why many people like me are only really diagnosed as adults, because
+autism hides many effects of ADHD and vice-versa - depending on which one is
+currently dominating. It is basically 2 modes: do everything all at once and
+start everything that grabs your attention - or do a deep dive into a single
+thing. And the exact opposite: The ADHD part being bored by the autism-project,
+the autism-part is completely overwhelmed by the ADHD chaos. Both then leading
+to exhaustion, not being able to do anything .. and basically feeling guilty for
+the things you did not manage to finish.
+
+Today i finally found myself. I currently have a great partner (with 3 kids) -
+and **all** of them have similar issues. Like i said: I best get along with
+similar people - and also fall in love with those.. and as AuDHD runs in the
+genes all offspring has a good chance of catching it to varies degrees, too.
+
+I think the most important thing was the ADHD-Diagnosis - as this enabled me to
+get metylphenidate to basically get into a "3-4 hours focused as long as the
+pill works" and total chaos afterwards. This enables me to have productive
+days/times where i can do all the boring-work that my ADHD-Part wants to sit out
+and the autism part is overwhelmed from even starting.
+
+## The early days
+
+To be continued ...